so maybe it's true, that i can't live without you
by betweentheraindrops
Summary: Ryan/Marissa. Post 2x16. So they set light to the torch together, watch it ignite, just like the flame between them that will never die.


A/N: First OC fic! Gosh, there are no words to describe how much I adore these two. Really, I'm surprised it took me so long to fully partake in this fandom. I don't care what eventually becomes of them in the season 3 finale *shudders*. These two are my OTP forever and ever.

Takes place post 2x16. The bonfire scene is so underrated, but I love it so much.

Reviews are love.

'Cause everything you do and words you say

You know that it all takes my breath away

And now I'm left with nothing.

_- Two Is Better Than One, Boys Like Girls & Taylor Swift_

_.. .. .._

They light the bonfire together, holding the same torch, ignite the everlasting flame that entangles them all underneath the stars.

He looks her way and smiles, his charm never seems to wear off on her.

She smiles back easily, it's the way things have always been with them. But she can feel herself being sucked back into their never-ending vortex, so she walks backward, turning around when he breaks eye contact and looks for Summer, who's somewhere with Seth doing God knows what.

Ryan turns back toward the flame, gazes at it in awe, tries to hide the fact that he's falling for her again. Not that it's really surprising, it's not at all. He knew, thanks to Seth, that they would once again be _Ryan and Marissa, _the couple that never fails to cause drama and turmoil. But he tries to remember, tries to convince himself, that the bad was so much worse than the good was _good_ (amazing). And he just can't do it, can't convince himself that that was the truth because it's just _not_.

He'd never give up those few months they spent together. Not ever. Because she's the only girl he ever loved and, from what he's heard, he's the only guy she ever loved. He's also pretty sure she didn't love Alex since she doesn't even seem upset that they just broke up, like, 10 minutes ago.

And he isn't really sentimental and shit (he's from Chino, for God's sake), doesn't give in to the hype of first love and how someone can be truly happy with someone. But he loves that they were each other's first loves, the fact that their relationship wasn't their first but their experiences were.

He wonders if she felt the same way about him; fully content and unaware of the turmoil with Oliver and Theresa that would eventually eventually become their downfall. He thinks they could've made it _if this_ and _maybe that_ had kept them closer. He knew the world has an insane amount of _what if_'s and _maybe that_'s, but they seemed happy once upon a time. It's a shame, really, that they had to go through so much together and they didn't make it because of trust or lack there-of.

They got back together after Theresa left and it was happy and good and full of sweet smiles and lingering looks, but it wasn't the same. It wasn't that honeymoon-ish reunion you see in the movies. The couple being together for a while, breaking up, making up after a certain amount of time and then it's better than ever. Their reunion might've been the opposite. Sure, it included tons of making out (which is something they both, thank God, love doing), but there was always a silver lining. There was little to no trust and they never got that novelty back before Theresa popped back in town, someone else making the trip as well.

But they were happy back then, all in love and uncaring of outside forces and completely content, he knows that. He also knows he wouldn't trade it for any other relationships he's had. (He's pretty sure she wouldn't either.)

"Hey," he hears, breaking him out of his thoughts.

It's Marissa, in her maroon hoodie, hair in a ponytail, Seth and Summer trailing behind her, hands and hearts entwined.

Ryan smiles at them, more specifically _her, _makes room for her to stand by him and for the other half of their four to stand next to her.

"You were really deep in thought there, weren't you?" Marissa asks him with a smile as she nudges his elbow with hers.

He nods, smiles a bit, would be blushing if he really let himself, but he doesn't because he's seriously lacking in the badass department and has been for a while. "Haha, yeah."

"What about?" She seems free, more casual than she did a few days ago at the mall when they were all awkward and admitting to different people that they missed one another.

Ryan doesn't think before he answers her. "The past."

"Oh." It isn't really a question, but it sounds like one and he looks at her, isn't quite willing to look her straight in the eye.

"Yeah." He knows she knows he was thinking about her, about them.

She doesn't ask anything else, doesn't comment on what he's just told her. All she does is turn toward Summer and they start talking about The Valley and Ryan knows she effectively ended her conversation with him, no sign of anything on the horizon. It sounds so similar to what he was thinking about anyway.

Ryan stuffs his hands in his pockets and tries not to let out the girlish scream that wants to come out of him when Seth stands next to him all of a sudden.

"Dude, what the hell?" he shouts.

Seth chuckles. "Dude, it's been so long since I've scared someone like that."

Ryan raises his arms in the air, signaling everything and nothing all at the same time. "So?"

"_So_," Seth points out emphatically, "I was right."

"Right about what?"

Seth doesn't say anything, just points his head toward his girlfriend and that beautiful girl with the dazzling smile, laughing at something the brunette said.

And Ryan just rolls his eyes, gives him a deadpan look. _You might be but I'll never admit that._

He walks away, eyeing that spot on the shoreline so he can watch the waves, but not before he bumps Seth's shoulder roughly, which leaves him rubbing his shoulder in pain. "You were not."

Seth's disbelieving chuckle is the last thing he hears before ocean waves are suddenly the only thing he sees or hears before him.

.. .. ..

The waves crash into each other as Ryan watches them, enjoying the silence and solitude. As much as he loves the quiet, his mind strays (always) to the girl. He can't stop thinking about her and he knows it's cliche, but he actually _can't_ stop. She's like this puzzle piece he can never fit with the rest, she always sticks out to him. Marissa completes him and complicates his life more than anybody has before. And something about her always has him coming back for more. He thinks that must be unhealthy, feeling these strong emotions about only one person. Because if he's being honest with himself, he didn't love Lindsay. He thought he was in love with her, really, but then that other girl had to come back in his life and ask him if she ever meant anything to him. As if he could ever forget her. Impossible.

"Hey," he hears, bringing him out of his thoughts. He knows who it is and he kind of wants to rolls his eyes at himself for being surprised.

Marissa moves beside him, making a star in the sand with her toes. "Want some company?"

Ryan gestures with his hand for her to sit so she does and whispers _thanks_ as she digs her toes further into the sand.

They sit in silence, watching the waves and enjoying the sounds of the water. It's peaceful, sitting here like this, unthinking of their problems. Together and apart, they've had their fair share of them.

Marissa clears her throat, gaining his attention. "I think- I think we should have a fresh start. From all our problems, a clean slate. Deal?"

He looks over at her and she's smiling at him encouragingly and he can't help but smile back. But he knows all their worries and hardships won't just go away. They can't. The universe has something against both of them, just likes continuously throwing things their way, cruel as it may be. But still, she's sitting here next to him, giving him those eyes he's spent so much time gazing into before. "Deal."

"To new beginnings," Marissa agrees, eventually looking over at him cautiously, biting her lip.

She lays her head on his shoulder, gently, softly. He smiles. On the outside, it looks like the beginning of something but they both know it's really the continuation of something that never ended.

.fin.


End file.
